On the topic of why having a child isn’t the biggest responsibility ever:
O: It’s really only a thirteen, fourteen, year commitment. After that they don’t even like you or want to hang out with you anymore, right?
On the topic of how birthday gifts evolve as you become an adult:
Friend B: I’m going to have to save up to do this [juice detox], I think. Maybe it will be a birthday present to myself!
Me: Yeah! Happy birthday! You don’t get to eat any food for weeks! Yay!
On the topic of always striving for more:
Me: We really have made each other’s lives better, haven’t we?
O: Yeah, we really have. Now we need to make the lives of every other person in the world better, too. They will call us Mother and Father Theresa.
On the topic of injuring your back at age twenty-nine:
In a get-well card from my beloved co-workers: “I hope you feel better soon. You are far to young to have such an old injury.”
On the topic of the joys of living in New Haven:
Friend A: …. and then five more police cars pull up, and they get out and point their guns at that car next to me, so I roll down my window to see if they need to give me instructions or anything, and they tell me to get down, get down …
On the topic of why I have a hard time working when O is around:
O: I guess Merlin really was the greatest wizard who ever lived, huh?
On the topic of ridiculous high school activities:
Anonymous Friend: Yeah, we had a streaking club. The B.U.N.S. club. It stood for ‘brotherhood, unity, nudity, secrecy’