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Come on! Embarrass yourself!

I was reading a blog post today that had me wandering back to my pre-teen years. They were embarrassing ones for a lot of people, but it took me awhile to remember even a sparse few stories that caused retroactive mortification. I’d like to think that maybe the reason I had to search so hard was because my adolescence was a golden one, full of witty banter (a la Gilmore Girls) and shiny young beauty. But I wore braces for a full nine (9) years, so scratch that last part. After my mind cleared and some memories resurfaced, I’ve decided that skinny little girl- and I’m trying to treat her gently, she was awfully sweet- clearly did not understand how the principles of nature and social etiquette functioned. She is not someone I would trust with my children, actually.

So here’s to the nerdiness, the naiveté, the self absorption that is the crown and the glory of the pre-teen years. I offer you some of my best, none of which I thought was odd in the least at the time.

1. My tee shirts & sweatshirts were really something. They were magnificantly huge, covering me up so completely that my knees were the first part of leg to appear. I dressed this way for years. There was no telling how big I was under those things; even an adult would have drowned in them. I don’t feel so alone in this one because all three of my siblings went through similar phases, and some of them also wore sweatpants to round out the ensemble.

2. First I need to admit that I dressed up as Helen Keller for Halloween once. Then I can move on to the fact that I was so interested in blindness that I tried to teach my five year old sister how to ride a bike blindfolded. Bandana wrapped around head blindness, not close-your-eyes-but-you-can-peek-a-little blindness. It was her first time on a bike, so, fun.

3. I snuck out of my bedroom, just to see if I could do it. I had nowhere to go. I just wandered around the yard in the dead of night and then went back inside.

4. I wanted to shave my legs pretty badly by around the sixth grade but was too embarrassed to ask my mom. I think I was certain she’s say it was too early. My brilliant solution was pantyhose. I wore NUDE PANTYHOSE to gym class. Thinking no one would notice? I did, in fact, get called out on it and I just told that little busybody I wore it because I was always cold. Duh.

What about you? Stories, please.

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February 21, 2013 - 9:47 am

Stacy Roth - The moment that makes me look back and cringe the most isn’t quite from my pre-teen years but from when I was 13. My mom asked me to transfer the laundry for her while she was making dinner, and after walking into the laundry room, I had to walk back out to ask, “Did you tell me to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer or the dryer to the washer?” because to my 13-year-old self, that answer wasn’t self-apparent. Ha!

February 21, 2013 - 1:51 pm

Emily - Oh my goodness, that is hilarious Stacy!